You'd be surprised who the love of your life turns out to be . . . after all, adventure fell in love with lost. ~ Erin Van Buren
There's a game I play on hopelessly lonely days . . . on the this isn't how it was supposed to be days . . . on my what have I done and this isn't my life days . . . it's a game I play only to get me through one day and into the next . . . when joy might come in the morning.
If this is not you, then stop reading (really . . . I know some of you and you're fabulous . . . carry on). For the rest of you, let's play. It's called The What Have I Lost Game . . .
First I do a brutal assessment . . .
I lost my keys when I was already late. I lost my courage and then I lost a friend when I found it again. I lost my child in a department store for five minutes and then forever when I lost my temper. I lost my phone in a toilet and my way in the darkness for a season. I lost my composure in a crowded room and my mind in the middle of July. I lost my own dare and my dignity and another damn job. I lost my innocence early and before I could recover it, I lost my youth. I lost years trying. I lost a dream or two . . . I lost opportunities to be who I might have been because I listened to lies . . . because I stayed to long and hoped too hard. I lost my will at the bottom of a pretty glass and my strength in the eighth mile. I am lost in a lifetime of failure and regret . . . and a million missed chances to make it right. I lost my voice when a scream might have saved me. I lost and I lost and I lost.
When I'm all done . . . When I've almost hung myself on the honesty (because it's my gift to myself) . . . I think about what I have left . . . I break it down.
I have today and the things the world can never take back . . . things I couldn't give away if I tried. Some things are impossible to lose.
I have lifted up a child in the darkness of a night . . . And many in the darkness of a world . . . I have led in love and have been loyal to the end. I have refused to look away from pain simply because it's uncomfortable. I have gone the extra mile when I was already tired. I have loved til it hurts . . . and loved the unlovable because true love isn't always easy love. I have done the hard things . . . taken the road less traveled. I have found my gift and used my words for good. I have prayed for the patience and compassion that don't come easy for me and I can own the wisdom of a very old woman that has followed me from a child on my better days. I can lift my chin and I can lift my hands with the promise that joy will roll me over when I least expect it.
I win the game. I get up. I am found. Every. Single. Time.
If this is not you, then stop reading (really . . . I know some of you and you're fabulous . . . carry on). For the rest of you, let's play. It's called The What Have I Lost Game . . .
First I do a brutal assessment . . .
I lost my keys when I was already late. I lost my courage and then I lost a friend when I found it again. I lost my child in a department store for five minutes and then forever when I lost my temper. I lost my phone in a toilet and my way in the darkness for a season. I lost my composure in a crowded room and my mind in the middle of July. I lost my own dare and my dignity and another damn job. I lost my innocence early and before I could recover it, I lost my youth. I lost years trying. I lost a dream or two . . . I lost opportunities to be who I might have been because I listened to lies . . . because I stayed to long and hoped too hard. I lost my will at the bottom of a pretty glass and my strength in the eighth mile. I am lost in a lifetime of failure and regret . . . and a million missed chances to make it right. I lost my voice when a scream might have saved me. I lost and I lost and I lost.
When I'm all done . . . When I've almost hung myself on the honesty (because it's my gift to myself) . . . I think about what I have left . . . I break it down.
I have today and the things the world can never take back . . . things I couldn't give away if I tried. Some things are impossible to lose.
I have lifted up a child in the darkness of a night . . . And many in the darkness of a world . . . I have led in love and have been loyal to the end. I have refused to look away from pain simply because it's uncomfortable. I have gone the extra mile when I was already tired. I have loved til it hurts . . . and loved the unlovable because true love isn't always easy love. I have done the hard things . . . taken the road less traveled. I have found my gift and used my words for good. I have prayed for the patience and compassion that don't come easy for me and I can own the wisdom of a very old woman that has followed me from a child on my better days. I can lift my chin and I can lift my hands with the promise that joy will roll me over when I least expect it.
I win the game. I get up. I am found. Every. Single. Time.
